Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Wow that’s a lotta denim crotches and winsomeness right there, running wild on the streets of Tulsa in “the Sixties” a time which apparently included some proto-mullets.
I’d like to take this time to answer any questions you have about either the movie or the book “The Outsiders”. We can focus mostly on denim, hair grease, and why so much fuckin’ unrelenting bad, terrible shit had to happen to poor little Johnny (played by a superlatively greasy and adorably teeny-tiny Ralph Macchio), and also we can debate why Matt Dillon was allowed to act ever again, especially in the artsy-fartsy Rumblefish, which was actually filmed in black & white so that, you know: undershirts.
Rumblefish consists of a pouting badboy in a mullet, a fake Zen 80s dancey knife-fight gangbanger older brother, and: Undershirts! Undershirts! Undershirts!
At some point we’re going to delve a bit further into why all of the required “teen fiction” I was made to read when I was but a callow adolescent lass was dark, overly dramatic, and belabored, featured mostly uptight white dudes trying to not sell chocolate or fail out of prep school or get their asses pulped by the Socs, and was full of the taunting.
Oh, the taunting!
The lesson in all this is: don’t be at a Catholic boys’ school in the first place if you can help it. Well, that and don’t wear sportscoats. Ever.
When Will Jesus Bring The Doughnuts?
Just thought I’d give y’all a little update. I had reams of wild and woolly dreams last night, none of which I can presently remember clearly, but I’m pretty sure there was a giant sandwich involved in one of them.
Been doing a lot of musing and introspection lately, and let me tell you this; it totally blows donkey balls at 400 psi. I need to stop asking my patients to do this, it’s totally gnarly. Anycarbs, I realized last night that my problematic relationship with food probably began at a very young age, when I attended St. Patrick’s Church. The math went something like so:
GO TO CHURCH + DOUGHNUTS AFTERWARD = ETERNAL SALVATION
Does that sound right to you? I think I’m missing some kind of metaphysical denominator here, like “NUMBER OF SPRINKLES” or maybe “YOU’RE A GOOD GIRL!”.
Also: there is a poker cue jabbing me rather impertinently in the back of my brains at the moment. How to fix besides a trip to Dunkin Donuts? Please advise.
Dear Dr. Ding
Dear Dr. Ding,
I just wanted to get your opinion. Recently I was scheduled to attend a
large family dinner over the Memorial Day weekend. Along with the dinner a
trip into the country to visit various family graves in small cemetaries
located out in a field was scheduled without my knowledge. I had to travel
several hours to get to this family function and stay with those who still
reside in the home town area. After driving for several hours I then had
to ride around in a car for another four hours. Would it have been
inappropriate for me to excuse myself from this part of the family holiday
plans? Along with the grave site tour we spent a great amount of time
touring down gravel roads stopping to see places where relatives had once
lived. Some of my cousins insisted on getting out of the car at each site
to take pictures of holes in the ground where a house used to stand or
barns leaning to one side with only half a roof. I myself do enjoy things
like studying family history but to me this did not seem to be informative
at all. I would much rather sit at the actual family dinner and listen to
the elders in the family tell stories about each other and what it was like
to live through their experiences. Am I a bad member of the younger
generation?
The BAD Daughter
Geek Love: Brief Elegy for Gary Gygax
Dr. Ding’s almost brother-in-law, Nater, requested that I discuss my first experience with Dungeons&Dragons, thereby repping my set, aka Gamer Nerd Brethren and Sistren. Nate knows a closeted gamer when he sees one, and he’s right, I need to let that phreak phlag phly¹.
Picture it: Shampoo-Banana, Illinois. One languid summer, 1981. Polyester plum-smugglers had just come into vogue, and there I was, playing D&D in our basement with a family friend, and a buddy of his he’d invited over. I don’t remember said buddy’s name, but I think it was something exotic like “Wesley” or perhaps “Todd.” He had a peachfuzz moustache and was wearing (non-ironically you see, for it was 1981) a tight ringer tee-shirt and the aforementioned plum-smugglers, with dark, feathered hair. I also recall that he (more…)
O How Shall I Celebrate Myself?
Dr. Ding, as a young lass, was prone to thinking about what she would be asking Santa for X-mas starting on December 26th. I used to plan my Hallowe’en costumes 7 and 8 months in advance, and my birthdays? Fuhggedaboutit. Constantly.
I am a mere 9 months and 28 days away from my 40th Birthday, and since I didn’t have a Sweet 16 party or attend any of my high school proms (too Goth/Punk/generally surly/geeky), I’m thinking there’s going to be a massive and crinolined dress involved, plus the ubiquitous tiara of course, just because of the whole lifelong curiosity thing with foofy princess dresses as well as the whole lifelong ability thing of getting myself into just enough trouble beforehand to not get to wear one.
And I’m quite sure I’ve mentioned my rather keen interest in getting a tattoo of some sort to commemorate 40 years of living on this planet sans actually strangling anyone (who probably richly deserved it) for being an ignorant, billious, and all-around pig-headed arschloch. Quite an achievement, I’d say.
The other day a friend asked me what I was planning for my 40th, and I had to confess (very dramatically, throwing myself wanly on the divan and gazing off pensively into the distance, my delicate lips all aquiver) that I had no frigging clue. This is where you come in, gentle reader.
Won’t you help a blogger out? Please respond in the comments.
Dr. Ding should do which of the following to celebrate her 40th birthday?
1. Dinner and dessert at a restaurant get-together, no presents.
2. Cake, ice cream, pinata, hired clown, lots of presents, at home.
3. Romantic weekend getaway to the Colorado Rockies with a pantsless beyoncé.
4. Carribean cruise with 10 closest female friends, smuggled rum, coconut-shell lingerie, inadvertently-yet-comically sunburned junk.
5. Invite all loyal AskDrDing readers to partake in a West Side Story-style dance-off, BYOB, canapes.
6. Kerouac-like road trip to Vegas, minus the amphetamines, plus feather boa.
7. Margaritas, kung-fu film fest, Grease-style dance-off with loyal AskDrDing readers.
8. Fried chicken, Bowl-O-Rama, keg.
2007 Reflections, 2008 Dreams
Dr. Ding never was too good at New Year’s resolutions; I make them all backwards and counterintuitive-like.
Dr. Ding once made a resolution to eat a LOT more chocolate, and well looky looky…it’s good for you now! Cause and effect, to be sure.
Superheroine JeAnne posted this very clever set of questions from which I’m cribbing here. Rock on, girl.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you had never done before? - Took two cruises with a very dear friend. Swam with dolphins, a lifelong dream. Went to a conference in Laguna Beach. Started blogging in earnest. Joined Twitter and learned everyone goes out a LOT more than I do.
2. What countries did you visit? - Mexico, Jamaica, Grand Cayman Island, California.
3. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? - More free time. More naps. Getting back into sitting meditation. Regular workouts. More dates with The Beyonce. A truly stellar blog logo. Dingish t-shirts on sale in CafePress.
4. What was your biggest achievement of the year? - Tie: 1) Started investing money. 2) Completed 20 miles of the Avon Walk in Chicago, June 2007.
5. Did you suffer any illness or injury? - Couple bouts of flu. Epicondylitis. Racked my left Achilles. Two vein surgeries. Ew.
6. What was the best thing you bought? — Anything on Etsy, especially Surlyramics’ stuff. A Dremel set for The Beyonce. Memory-foam mattress topper.
7. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? - Happier, but tireder.
8. Did you fall in love in 2007? -- It seems like every other week I find out something entirely new and absolutely wonderful about The Beyonce. Despite his peculiar insistence on keeping the kitchen counters neat and clean, I remain In Love with him. I can’t help it. He heals me. Well, that and he’s a stone fox.
9. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? — Vintage 1987 drag queen-meets-former-GothPunk shitkicker, quietly supported by nerd glasses and Ex Officio underpants, and a team of Etsy.com artisans. Plus several pair of sweats from Target, black Uggs, and a penchant for t-shirts from The Mill and The Salt Dogs.
10. What do you wish you’d done more of? What didn’t you get in 2007 that you want for 2008? - I wish I’d gone back to the gym after my 2 surgeries, because now I’m very out of the habit. In 2008, I have the following goals and objectives:
1) Get married. To The Beyonce. In a FIERCE wedding dress. Not sure yet what rhymes with husband.
2) Figure out what rhymes with husband.
3) Plan a trip to Tibet, to take place within the next few years. I’ll be going with Dr. Kat and anyone else who dares accompany us.
4) Get up every day at 6 a.m. to meditate, pray to The Inner Silver Go-Go Boots of GirlJesus, do a lil’ yoga, walk.
5) Remain injury-free when I get back to weight lifting this Spring, and further, if I do get injured, find a neon-pink sparkly cold pack so that the whole experience is more festive.
6) Finish writing Drag Queens From Outer Space! Or: How I Learned To Love Managed Care™
7) Have a costume party for Halloween like I did back in the 1990s where everyone has to (more…)
- https://progresivamente.org/
- https://www.riaeduca.org/
- https://www.onbelaycounseling.com/
- https://www.bearwilliamsmusic.com/
- https://www.rajhanstilespvtltd.com/
- https://ascuri.org/
- https://www.atelp.org/
- https://fuhrmannheatingtv.com/
- https://www.nmptap.org/
- https://askdrding.com/
- https://thekingsheadhouse.com/
- https://www.karadefrias.com/
- https://www.andros-hotels.com/
- https://www.lebanonecomovement.org/
- https://ohdsichina.org/