Queen Bodacious’ House Of Sass
Y’all. I got me a lil jewelry shop over at Etsy. It’s fabulous. Trust. The above photo is actually stuff I made with my own two beady hands. There was a fuckload of some swearing involved in the process.
Because I often have trouble finding bracelets that fit my superheroine-sized, former rugger/shotputter/archer wrists, I decided to make the bracelets of the 8″ variety. If you need a smaller size, just convo me and I’ll do it. Also: send bourbon. It helps me focus now that I’m off gluten/bacon/sugar.
I make beaded sparkly-sparkly* with beads, wire and all manner of gaudy-ass shit.
It’s my therapy. Don’t judge.
Buy.
* This is what I call jewelry that I find delightful. And maybe slightly trashy. But definitely sparkly.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Me So Classy
Dr. Ding was having lunch a couple weeks ago with some of her favorite Houston web ladiez (aw yeah), and got to sit next to The Bloggess. After my usual round of giggling, fawning and gas-passing subsided, I made a spastic play at plagiarism.
“Your Royal Majesty,” I said, managing to toot only slightly in my gleeful fervor, “I would like to make a request of you.”
“Vagina?”‡ she regally replied, delicately scooping hummus and no doubt thinking up more very hilarious, gothic ideas for her future posts. Or she might have been talking to someone else.
“Exactly. I’d really like to cut and paste the contents of your blog di-reckly into my own, without citation, without credit, without so much as a fart in your general direction honoring your überfunny and singularly brilliant intellectual property.”
I lost the thread of the discussion from there, but I totally got the impression she might be okay with this arrangement.
Also, she had on a supercool necklace, over which I made a giant but this time non-flatulent fuss, since it was a single red plastic cherry pendant and reminded me of the fact that I do not own nearly enough red plastic cherry jewelry.
She later sent me the link to the Etsy.com vendor, Mom-o-Matic, from whom she purchased said item, and I found the necklace pictured above and immediately ordered it.
Mom-o-Matic is cool; although on vacation with a closed shop, she put a special hold on her very last green Jello necklace, just for me. Because I’m classy, that’s why.
Next time I’m out gallivanting with Teh Bloggess I’m going to wear it. Also: Beano. I’m looking into it.
‡ She didn’t say this, but if you count disembodied voices residing in Dr. Ding’s head as quotable sources, she did.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
2007 Reflections, 2008 Dreams
Dr. Ding never was too good at New Year’s resolutions; I make them all backwards and counterintuitive-like.
Dr. Ding once made a resolution to eat a LOT more chocolate, and well looky looky…it’s good for you now! Cause and effect, to be sure.
Superheroine JeAnne posted this very clever set of questions from which I’m cribbing here. Rock on, girl.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you had never done before? - Took two cruises with a very dear friend. Swam with dolphins, a lifelong dream. Went to a conference in Laguna Beach. Started blogging in earnest. Joined Twitter and learned everyone goes out a LOT more than I do.
2. What countries did you visit? - Mexico, Jamaica, Grand Cayman Island, California.
3. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? - More free time. More naps. Getting back into sitting meditation. Regular workouts. More dates with The Beyonce. A truly stellar blog logo. Dingish t-shirts on sale in CafePress.
4. What was your biggest achievement of the year? - Tie: 1) Started investing money. 2) Completed 20 miles of the Avon Walk in Chicago, June 2007.
5. Did you suffer any illness or injury? - Couple bouts of flu. Epicondylitis. Racked my left Achilles. Two vein surgeries. Ew.
6. What was the best thing you bought? — Anything on Etsy, especially Surlyramics’ stuff. A Dremel set for The Beyonce. Memory-foam mattress topper.
7. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? - Happier, but tireder.
8. Did you fall in love in 2007? -- It seems like every other week I find out something entirely new and absolutely wonderful about The Beyonce. Despite his peculiar insistence on keeping the kitchen counters neat and clean, I remain In Love with him. I can’t help it. He heals me. Well, that and he’s a stone fox.
9. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? — Vintage 1987 drag queen-meets-former-GothPunk shitkicker, quietly supported by nerd glasses and Ex Officio underpants, and a team of Etsy.com artisans. Plus several pair of sweats from Target, black Uggs, and a penchant for t-shirts from The Mill and The Salt Dogs.
10. What do you wish you’d done more of? What didn’t you get in 2007 that you want for 2008? - I wish I’d gone back to the gym after my 2 surgeries, because now I’m very out of the habit. In 2008, I have the following goals and objectives:
1) Get married. To The Beyonce. In a FIERCE wedding dress. Not sure yet what rhymes with husband.
2) Figure out what rhymes with husband.
3) Plan a trip to Tibet, to take place within the next few years. I’ll be going with Dr. Kat and anyone else who dares accompany us.
4) Get up every day at 6 a.m. to meditate, pray to The Inner Silver Go-Go Boots of GirlJesus, do a lil’ yoga, walk.
5) Remain injury-free when I get back to weight lifting this Spring, and further, if I do get injured, find a neon-pink sparkly cold pack so that the whole experience is more festive.
6) Finish writing Drag Queens From Outer Space! Or: How I Learned To Love Managed Care™
7) Have a costume party for Halloween like I did back in the 1990s where everyone has to (more…)
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Say Hello To My Leetle Friend(s)
[Leaning forward interestedly] Hello, group. I’d like to share something with you. [Puts down clipboard]. I know that as your group leader I don’t normally disclose much about myself, but today is a special day. I’d like you to meet someone. Actually, a few someones.
There’s a place where Dr. Ding likes to hang out when she’s feeling uninspired, a safe, cozy place where people can come and meet, share ideas and dreams, appreciate handcrafted merchandise, and enjoy lots of independent spirit. No, it’s not my closet. It’s Etsy.com.
Check out this sacred heart and glitter wings necklace Dr. Ding purchased from ArtAllNight:
Pretty bitchin’, n’est-ce pas? How about this sweet lil number from Gearbunny?
Or this flat out kick-ass ceramic heart from Surly Ramics?
Dr. Ding feels very fortunate to have caught on to the best of the DIY scene at Etsy. The handmade, “wearable art” movement is gaining momentum and increasingly supplanting the artificial and mass-producted aesthetic chokehold Big Corporate has on the collective American economic palate. Seriously. Mr. Dalgliesh, you look as if you had a comment. No? Alright, let’s continue.
I’d like to ask the group to consider this: why would you want to purchase a bland navy-blue v-neck sweater from The Gap/Abercrombie/Banana Republic worn by everyone else you know, when you could feast your torso on this festive ensemble from Louise Black?
Ah [leans back in chair, checks watch discreetly], now isn’t that better? I think this has been a very productive group today. Mrs. Pargeter, next week it’s your turn to share. And Ms Blandings, I believe you’re signed up to bring a snack to celebrate Mr. Harleyquin’s 3-year gambling sobriety birthday, is that right?
Ok, then, looks like our time is up for today. Thanks for coming.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
The Great Tattoo Dilemma
Dr. Ding has noted recently the uptick of interest in tattoo-themed apparel, and has been keenly observing same on sites such as Etsy and Ed Hardy.
Which brings me back to the age old question: what kind of tattoo should I get when I turn 40?
Suggestions? Bear in mind that I’m a major nerd. But…I’m not quite as nerdy as the person pictured above.
Image source
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Will the real Dr. Ding please stand up?
Dr. Ding is the fictional name of a real-life shrink who, for reasons related to a near-total distaste for the trappings of what passes for the tropes of modern clinical psychology, prefers to remain semi-anonymous.
Dr. Ding would like you to know that mostly she’s just running her mouth off here for her own utterly selfish purpose of trying to improve the overall entertainment level of humankind. Well, that and taking over the world.
The following descriptors could be said to apply to the good doctor:
extremely sassy
very, very late 30s
Aquarian with Gemini moon
too chickenly indecsisive to get a tattoo until she turns 40
(more afraid of committment than the pain itself you see)
big fan of plotting global domination using giant maps, red pushpins
obssessed with martial arts movies
former rugby prop forward
fascinated with glitter, ostritch plumes, feather boas, rhinestones
foul-mouthed
irreverent
interested in geekery
entertained angels unawares
drag queen aficionado
currently Houston-based
devoted to 80s music
more lately into gypsy jazz and morna esp. Césaria Évora
incorrigible Etsy.com addict and huge fan of Surlyramics and ArtAllNight
diet Dr. Pepper, Tab, and diet 7-Up guzzler
major soft spot for primates and dolphins
dinner of choice: filet mignon, Grey Goose vodka martini
cheeky
unfortunately highly addicted to CSI: Miami
mystery buff
fan of Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler
devotee of the classic “cozy” mystery replete with little old lady heroine, tea, and knitting
crossword puzzle fanatic
former Goth/Punk juvenile delinquent nerdette
fucking adorable
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
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