Me So Classy
Dr. Ding was having lunch a couple weeks ago with some of her favorite Houston web ladiez (aw yeah), and got to sit next to The Bloggess. After my usual round of giggling, fawning and gas-passing subsided, I made a spastic play at plagiarism.
“Your Royal Majesty,” I said, managing to toot only slightly in my gleeful fervor, “I would like to make a request of you.”
“Vagina?”‡ she regally replied, delicately scooping hummus and no doubt thinking up more very hilarious, gothic ideas for her future posts. Or she might have been talking to someone else.
“Exactly. I’d really like to cut and paste the contents of your blog di-reckly into my own, without citation, without credit, without so much as a fart in your general direction honoring your überfunny and singularly brilliant intellectual property.”
I lost the thread of the discussion from there, but I totally got the impression she might be okay with this arrangement.
Also, she had on a supercool necklace, over which I made a giant but this time non-flatulent fuss, since it was a single red plastic cherry pendant and reminded me of the fact that I do not own nearly enough red plastic cherry jewelry.
She later sent me the link to the Etsy.com vendor, Mom-o-Matic, from whom she purchased said item, and I found the necklace pictured above and immediately ordered it.
Mom-o-Matic is cool; although on vacation with a closed shop, she put a special hold on her very last green Jello necklace, just for me. Because I’m classy, that’s why.
Next time I’m out gallivanting with Teh Bloggess I’m going to wear it. Also: Beano. I’m looking into it.
‡ She didn’t say this, but if you count disembodied voices residing in Dr. Ding’s head as quotable sources, she did.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Oh I’m sooo glad you shared this because I was going to ask you both what the Etsy store was. Yah! More ways to keep spending money I don’t have
You introduced me to Surlyramics. I introduced you to Mom-o-Matic. The circle of life is complete.
And now I’m craving hummus. Desperately.
I can see my work here is done. One more Etsy convert in the form of the illustrious IMelda, and now The Bloggess and I have danced to Hakuna Matata.
Exeunt!
Huh?
My dangly genitalia must have my mind clouded again. I have no clue what any of that was about.
ndbeasle:
Hunny. You must go to http://thebloggess.com/ and enjoy. You will then understand why I want to quite literally cut & paste her blog and drop it di-reckly into mine.
I really did order that cool lime Jello necklace. Actually, I’m not sure it’s lime, I’m just assuming so because it’s green.
Doppel D,
Just peeked over at The Bloggess. Pretty damn funny.
I don’t have time to commit to another blog. I shan’t venture back there because if I get too amused, I may have to drop the A.D.D. blog like a piece of maggoty meat.
Did they have any orange Jell-O? With shredded carrots floating in it? Now that would be some prime bling.
jello mold necklace? where was this when i was gussying up for the white trash party? it would have clashed so perfectly with my riveted i heart jesus belt.
i am saving up my drinking quarters for some tupperbling.
None of my genitalia is dangly and I read The Bloggess from time to time and I’m still not sure what this was about- but the necklace is cute.
I was raised in a jello intensive household and carrots go in lime jello so you get that kind of sickly weird brownish color. My favorite holiday dessert is made from jello, strawberries, sour cream, cool whip and pretzels. It’s better than bacon and chocolate.
Okay so is there a blog somewhere that gives household tips? Like how to get puke out from between the keys on my keyboard?
I’ve emptied a bottle of Febreze onto it and I can still smell it. My “jjjjjjjjjjjjjj” is a little sticky, too.
Epiphenita:
Your I Heart Jesus belt paired with the Jello mold necklace would have absolutely made you the belle of the white trash ball!
Tupperbling? Priceless. I believe you need to trademark that forthwith.
Trainer:
Ah, therein lies the beauty of my blog: you don’t have to pay attention in order to enjoy it. And neither do I!
And did you just mention my fav-o-rite desert of alltime? Strawberry Pretzel Salad? I dream about that stuff.
Dear NDBeasle:
Are you saying that all this talk of Jello has nauseated you to the point of emesis?
I think you need a new keyboard, shug.
I hate it when you find that chunk later that got stuck between your cheek and gum.
Evidently, I was fine with the concept of meat with squirmy fly larvae therein, but Cool Whip comingled with sour cream brought the orange chicken and rice back up. (Excuse me…)
Um, d00d? TMI. Even for me.
I know, right?
Sorry about that but it really is good! I would just put the keyboard in the dishwasher. It works but if you don’t believe me and it’s pukey and you can’t really keep it anyway, what do you have to lose?
http://www.boingboing.net/2005/05/30/clean-your-keyboard-.html
As for household tips, I’m full of ‘em. I was a stay at home mom for 20 years before I became Houston’s Best Dog Trainer and I took my Staying At Home seriously. My kids used to watch Martha Stewart and get bored because she was doing things I did everyday. I’m doing a cheese making class on Saturday for 23 people (30 minute Mozzarella and Ricotta) - I used to cook everything from scratch and if you can eat, I can make it.
DD, your blog is *always* fun but it’s the brilliant posts that help me make sense of my life that keep me coming back.
a gathering w/o moi? *sniffs* Neat necklace…reminds me of the jelly from Neopets. hah!
Oh, and as for the keyboard…if it’s a regular computer kb, take off the keys 1 by 1 and clean underneath that way. They pop right back on again. I only wish this tip would work for a laptop.
Thanks for turning me on to Etsy!!!!! You rock!!
Trainer:
You amaze me….that link was great…plus…I had no idea you can teach people to make cheese. Color me Gorgonzola! And also, thanks for the compliment. Since I write primarily for my own enjoyment (well, and the whole bid for world domination thing), any useful informaiton gleaned by the reader is testament to their ingenuity!
Pear Lady:
What’s Neopets and where can I get one? More importantly, will you buy one for me?
AbbyNormal:
You’re welcome. And so do you.
Sorry. I aimed for witty. Hit disgusting.
I guess I overcompensated in this estrogeny wonderland.
I’ll sit quietly and eat my Jell-O the way God intended it. In little cups, chocked full of booze.
Don’t be too amazed- it all makes be a bore at parties.
Y’all are awesome.
NDBeasle: it’s okay. I want this blog to be a safe place for “disgusting” as well as “estrogeny”. Also, I like your idea about Jello shots.
Trainer:
You never bore me. Every few weeks I learn some mind-boggling fact about you!!!!!