When Will Jesus Bring The Doughnuts?
Just thought I’d give y’all a little update. I had reams of wild and woolly dreams last night, none of which I can presently remember clearly, but I’m pretty sure there was a giant sandwich involved in one of them.
Been doing a lot of musing and introspection lately, and let me tell you this; it totally blows donkey balls at 400 psi. I need to stop asking my patients to do this, it’s totally gnarly. Anycarbs, I realized last night that my problematic relationship with food probably began at a very young age, when I attended St. Patrick’s Church. The math went something like so:
GO TO CHURCH + DOUGHNUTS AFTERWARD = ETERNAL SALVATION
Does that sound right to you? I think I’m missing some kind of metaphysical denominator here, like “NUMBER OF SPRINKLES” or maybe “YOU’RE A GOOD GIRL!”.
Also: there is a poker cue jabbing me rather impertinently in the back of my brains at the moment. How to fix besides a trip to Dunkin Donuts? Please advise.
Where My Bitches At?
People. Dr. Ding has been busier than a cat trying to hide crap on a marble floor. Saddling my dreams is serious, exhausting bidness. I will have an exciting announcement within the next couple of months, but it’s all a bit hush-hush at the moment until the details are finalized.
First off, I have another UGO post up. It’s chock-full of formatting errors. Just saying.
Second, I need advertisers. Know any? Google’s AdSense and I parted company awhile back and Yahoo’s beta whatsit is taking its sweet time to get back to me. I have a feeling my rather liberal use of words like “fuckery,” “fuckity” and “fucktarded” may have contributed somewhat to my current situation. Well, that and all the blaspheming. So I’ve got that going for me.
If you know of any stout-hearted advertisers, brave and true, jiggle me or Google me or DM me or whatever the hell it is you people do.
Third, I’m committing wanton acts of Steampunk-induced bloggery over at BrassGoggles upon random occasion. I’ll try to keep you updated.
I said “try” and I meant it.
Fourth — where my Dear Dr. Ding letters at? Being able to blast the unvarnished, invective-larded versions of my own idiosyncratic psychomological wisdomation out into the interwebbish multiverse makes the 100 years I spent in gradual school plus the 10 years of working with brain-injured damaged care insurance authorizers all worth it. And you can be as anonymous as you wish.
Fifth. You can reach me here if need be. Or you can follow me on Twitter. It’s all a rich tapestry.
2007 Reflections, 2008 Dreams
Dr. Ding never was too good at New Year’s resolutions; I make them all backwards and counterintuitive-like.
Dr. Ding once made a resolution to eat a LOT more chocolate, and well looky looky…it’s good for you now! Cause and effect, to be sure.
Superheroine JeAnne posted this very clever set of questions from which I’m cribbing here. Rock on, girl.
1. What did you do in 2007 that you had never done before? - Took two cruises with a very dear friend. Swam with dolphins, a lifelong dream. Went to a conference in Laguna Beach. Started blogging in earnest. Joined Twitter and learned everyone goes out a LOT more than I do.
2. What countries did you visit? - Mexico, Jamaica, Grand Cayman Island, California.
3. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? - More free time. More naps. Getting back into sitting meditation. Regular workouts. More dates with The Beyonce. A truly stellar blog logo. Dingish t-shirts on sale in CafePress.
4. What was your biggest achievement of the year? - Tie: 1) Started investing money. 2) Completed 20 miles of the Avon Walk in Chicago, June 2007.
5. Did you suffer any illness or injury? - Couple bouts of flu. Epicondylitis. Racked my left Achilles. Two vein surgeries. Ew.
6. What was the best thing you bought? — Anything on Etsy, especially Surlyramics’ stuff. A Dremel set for The Beyonce. Memory-foam mattress topper.
7. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? - Happier, but tireder.
8. Did you fall in love in 2007? -- It seems like every other week I find out something entirely new and absolutely wonderful about The Beyonce. Despite his peculiar insistence on keeping the kitchen counters neat and clean, I remain In Love with him. I can’t help it. He heals me. Well, that and he’s a stone fox.
9. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? — Vintage 1987 drag queen-meets-former-GothPunk shitkicker, quietly supported by nerd glasses and Ex Officio underpants, and a team of Etsy.com artisans. Plus several pair of sweats from Target, black Uggs, and a penchant for t-shirts from The Mill and The Salt Dogs.
10. What do you wish you’d done more of? What didn’t you get in 2007 that you want for 2008? - I wish I’d gone back to the gym after my 2 surgeries, because now I’m very out of the habit. In 2008, I have the following goals and objectives:
1) Get married. To The Beyonce. In a FIERCE wedding dress. Not sure yet what rhymes with husband.
2) Figure out what rhymes with husband.
3) Plan a trip to Tibet, to take place within the next few years. I’ll be going with Dr. Kat and anyone else who dares accompany us.
4) Get up every day at 6 a.m. to meditate, pray to The Inner Silver Go-Go Boots of GirlJesus, do a lil’ yoga, walk.
5) Remain injury-free when I get back to weight lifting this Spring, and further, if I do get injured, find a neon-pink sparkly cold pack so that the whole experience is more festive.
6) Finish writing Drag Queens From Outer Space! Or: How I Learned To Love Managed Care™
7) Have a costume party for Halloween like I did back in the 1990s where everyone has to (more…)
Oh Dear GirlJesus, Praised Be Thy Go-Go Boots
Starting at 8:00 a.m. Saturday this weekend, I will be taking a YogaFit teacher training course. It’s a 2-day course designed for beginning yoga teachers. I know. You’re as suprised as I am.
Dr. Ding probably hasn’t mentioned her sporadic interest in yoga much, has she? Probably because I’ve been a tad busy planning to subvert the New World Order by wearing as much glittery Urban Decay eyeliner as humanly possible, whilst simultaneously sexily infiltrating the neo-corporatized military-industrial complex and maintaing a high gloss on my GirlJesus Brand™ Go-Go boots.
Well, it’s true. I practice yoga, but not as often as I’d like. I’m hoping this teacher training gives me some added motivation to continue with my practice. I’m also considering starting to teach at some point. But rest assured my sugar dumplings…this will be no ordinary yoga class.
There will be a brief warm-up routine to the very spiritual sounds of The Weather Girls’ anthem “It’s Raining Men” followed by the rump-shaking “Work It” by Missy Elliot. Then, we will get down to the actual yoga, which will last only 20 minutes, because that is how long I like to do yoga. Short attention span, you know. There will be a compulsory 2 minutes of The Complimenting Of The Yoga Outfits, followed by a all-1980s cool-down, interrupted briefly yet magnificently with a single restrained outburst of slam dancing.
After class, we high-five each other, think very well of ourselves, and go out for a nice cocktail, or possibly some decaf latte and a brownie, before toddling home to bed.
This is how Dr. Ding does yoga, people. This is the Way Of the Ding.
Memories, Dreams, Reflections
Dr. Ding has been having a series of very nostalgic dreams lately. Something about being out of my usual southerly environs seems to have jolted my REM sleep back online, probably it was all the frosted sugar cookies I ate over the holidays while visiting The Beyonce’s kinfolk up nawth.
Frosted sugar cookies are my Kryptonite. I could be, say, rushing off to go run an insight-oriented psychotherapy group with mere moments to spare, and if you placed a plate of said cookies directly in front of me, I wouldn’t make it on time. And Dr. Ding is always on time in her professional life, barring unforeseen circumstances like sudden explosive diarrhea or impromptu cattle drives. My personal life is another story, as I was once told during my impressionable youth that to arrive 20 minutes late is considered fashionably late, and I’ve strictly adhered to that dictum ever since.
So, with absolutely no segue, here’s a copy of Richard Scarry’s Busy, Busy World.
And then there’s another of my favorites: Cars and Trucks and Things That Go.
And last, but not least: What Do People Do All Day?
If you’ve never read any Richard Scarry books, Dr. Ding feels very sad for you. They feature little anthropomorphic animals living harmoniously in a Utopian society while getting into some very amusing-yet-instructive situations, clad in cheery Tyrolean hats, improbably constructed overalls, and suchlike. Check it!
- https://progresivamente.org/
- https://www.riaeduca.org/
- https://www.onbelaycounseling.com/
- https://www.bearwilliamsmusic.com/
- https://www.rajhanstilespvtltd.com/
- https://ascuri.org/
- https://www.atelp.org/
- https://fuhrmannheatingtv.com/
- https://www.nmptap.org/
- https://askdrding.com/
- https://thekingsheadhouse.com/
- https://www.karadefrias.com/
- https://www.andros-hotels.com/
- https://www.lebanonecomovement.org/
- https://ohdsichina.org/