Has Your Vajayjay Lost Its Pep?
With all the plastic surgery bullshit going on nowadays where women get Botox shot into their coochies, Dr. Ding thinks it’s high time we reclaimed the power of the all-mighty bergina. And not in some kind of groovy, over-solemnified 1970s Our Bodies, Our Selves kind of way. Oh no.
See that impish figure up above? That’s a Sheela na Gig, a holy vulva. They were put on buildings for protection from evil back in ancient Ireland and in other areas of Europe, and were considered pretty strong juju, spiritually-speaking. You can read more about them here.
So, the next time you find yourself worrying about what other people think about your punannie, remember its noble lineage and abilities to ward off demons and such. And the next time you’re about to go in for some ridiculous cooter-tightening, hoohoo-rejuvenating procedure, get yourself a Sheela na Gig instead. Trust. Your spirit will thank you for it.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Botox in the cooter? YOUCH!!!
I have one word for those who are considering such an ordeal:
Kegels.
Just squeeze away all day long, and you’ll have a nice tight cooch forever.
Holeee shit, Dr. D. I need to get one of these. No, really. it’s for…well, no fucking matter what it’s for…it’s in the shopping cart now. Sheela-Na-Gig. Make mine with dentata baby.
Gwynne - Kegels are superduper, and they’re free from the ministriations of allopathic fundamentalists, which is better still!
epiphenita - Vagina Dentata 4 Eva!
Okay, Dingle, it was fun being back and all with your blog being all mobile-friendly and shit now, but I think I’ll be leaving again.
The L Word did a storyline on vaginal rejuvenation and I thought they had totally made it up (because most of that show was crazy). Then, I did a little research and was shocked to find it to be a real thing. WTF? How do people come up with this stuff?
Okay ndbeasle-whatever blows yer skirt up!
Vikki-I see it as a long-term extension of the military-industrial complex of the 1950s, encouraging women to roboticize themselves in some way to be pleasing to menfolk. Gah. Why not just get a pushup bra and do Kegels? Or throw away the bra and run the fuck out of there? Yeesh. Boggles the time.
Ummm, what was my vajayjay doing when it was supposed to be warding off demons in my 20s? Because I specifically remember a few demons having their way with me. Going to have to have a talk about that…
Mira-you’ve now inspired me to design a line of frilly underpants that say on the front “This vajayjay may accidentally repel you. Carry on!”
Hee!
The power of the bergina compels you!
And how!
Gotta say, if my what-have-you was down to my ankles like Sheela’s there, I’d sign right up for one of those nightmare procedures.
The first I heard of such things was about 5 years while signing in at the front desk of my gyno for a checkup. There was a big glossy sign and pamphlet explaining that my doctor now offered this service.
Oh, and hello. I just discovered your blog, through mine.
I never understood why guys call each other pussies like it’s an insult. Pussies are strong, they squeeze out babies for christ’s sake. And apparently, they ward off demons as well.