7 Things About The Ding
Y’all. My esteemed colleague, Dr. Miggy, has tagged me. Where I’m from we would call that a “pimp slap” but whatever.
She has requested my particular brand of “fart humor elegantly dressed in GRE vocabulary” and I do not want to disappoint La Miggy. She’s got a new art blog, ArtLicker, which makes her way cooler than me because I don’t know stuff about art. If you put an “f” in front of it though, I am definitely your gal.
So here are 7 things you didn’t know about the Dingster.
1. I was an aquanaut as a teenager. I lived underwater in a habitat in Islamorada, Florida for 24 hours and saw bioluminescent creatures and swam around a lot while breathing from a gigantic hookah from topside. I brought down eyeliner and 3 swimsuits in a pressurized pot. Glamma!
2. In college I was a rugby prop forward for 3 seasons. I didn’t make it to a 4th thanks to being obsessed with getting into grad school and filling out 13 very lengthy applications using a typewriter. Yes, you read that correctly. A. Typewriter. Afterwards, I punched my feet through the floorboards of my granite automobile and left the town of Bedrock for a long vacation.
3. In the summer of 1987 I worked at Baskin & Robbins. I couldn’t eat ice cream for 2 years following.
4. I don’t think I kept a single New Year’s Resolution I made for 2008, except using my rewards points and keeping my car running. Meh.
5. Secretly I think about quitting my job and working retail so I can have a fabulous wardrobe at a fraction of the cost. Or going to beauty school. Or becoming a wig stylist for a drag show.
6. Lately I’ve been reading a bunch of books by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Childs. They’re the duo that wrote Relic and Reliquary. I read those a long time ago and now I’m getting caught up on all the new ones featuring Agent Pendergast. They’re addictive, mind-candy thrillers.
7. The Beyonce is going to taunt me for admitting this publicly, but I adore crossword puzzles. I plan on subscribing to the New York Times ones. Shit’s about to get real, people.
So, those among my loyal readers who blog: consider yourself tagged.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
8. You’re easily the funniest blogger I know. Dave posts funny stuff to Aether, but you *create* funny stuff. I think Dave could write funny on his blog too, if he weren’t such a lazy Chrontard. (Kidding, Dave, kidding!)
Wendy and I both love the Preston/Child books, especially those featuring Agent Pendergast, although they’ve been getting a bit over the top recently, even for addictive mind-candy. Preston and Child both write solo; memorable titles are Preston’s ‘Hot Zone’ and Child’s ‘Deep Storm’. Child has a new one called ‘Terminal Freeze’ coming out (soon?); I’m already in the request queue at the library web sit.
Goddess above… I LOVE me some Ding… that is all.
Girl. I wanna be an esthetician. We could totally go into business together! We should think up awesome names for our salon. We could decorate in pink, chocolate and sparkle.
first, she mumbled petulantly, brooklynese-style about chopped liver something, something…(see http://epiphenita.blogspot.com/2008/11/six-random-things-tag.html)
second, beyonce is just a non-cruciverbalist standing outside looking in with his nose pressed against the window, mocking with ordinary words.
finally, that aquanaut thing is mystifying.
I thought you quit rugby because of the catfights in those effin’ scrums. All that Luther eyeliner and hairspray can wreck a gal.
Jim- Aw thanks! Sounds like I need to check out the solo novels too…thanks for the heads-up on those.
JJ- You are so sweet to say that. Ding loves you right back.
Ali- Ooh “pink, chocolate and sparkle”! I’m in. How about “The Diva and The Ding” or maybe “Divas R Us”? Whee! This sounds great. I think between the two of us we have the requisite amount of sass-talk that one needs to run a salon. Probably more than enough. Okay, definitely more than enough.
Vikki- Baby you know I loved to throw down back in the day. But you’re right about those Luther chicks…they fought dirty! Aerosol hairspray has no place inside a scrum I say!
Good thing I looked before I poked you. I was almost beside myself waiting on your yummy good shit. So first: Thank you.
Then…
Aquanaut? Nuh uh. Seriously?
I would go to a pink and chocolate salon, but only to work security and scope the clientele. “Can I get you something to drink while you’re waiting?”
I (heart) Women’s Rugby. I remember the Luther issues… weird. I also remember Mel Voorhees standing up with blood running down her face and nose. Wicked shit.
Ding, you da bomb. To reward you for actually playing this silly little meme game, I give you the top 12 yonic monuments.
http://www.listicles.com/2009/01/freudian-fridays-top-12-yonic-monuments/
The rise of the vajooj in 2009 is inevitable. Huzzah.
Shel- you could DEFINITELY work security. It would be totally hot. I am convinced that Luther College had collectively overdosed on aerosol hairspray, which is why their ruggers were so vicious and stabby.
DrMiggy- “Vajooj” = my new favorite word, followed immediately by “yonic”. And also, thanks for the vajooj pics in the link! The world is sorely in need of more vajooj.