The Call Of Nerdthulhu
This is where Dr. Ding is this weekend, loyal readers. The H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival and Cthulhucon in rainy, porny, cigarettey Portland, OR — the literal and spiritual home of every art history major that ever lived to ascend the cutthroat ranks of record-store assistant managership.
Portland? Is fucking bleak, dude. It’s like an entire generation or three smoked, like, waay too much ditchweed laced with PCP and now everyone is on a total, permanent bummer. I know this to be true because Portlandites wear faded hoodies and dark, sarcastic clothing and slump around in the rain with no umbrella.
The festival itself is more entertaining, which is part of why we try to attend every year. It is very, very nerdy up in the historic Hollywood Theater, and the air is redolent with the smell of unwashed gamers, patchouli’d-up hippies, and whatever it is that Goth folk use to make their hair stand up so purty.
The Beyoncé and I are ridin’ at least two hundred deep amidst the weirdos and malcontents. In fact, I would daresay that we could safely number ourselves amongst the “squares” and “The Establishment” here, man.
That is all.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
It’s the Ding! Hooray. Glad to see that you are well.
Your portrait of Portlandia is an attractive one, that’s for darn sure. (I’m practicing my Palinesque down-homey-ness here.) Gloomy, rainy, populated by people with dour demeanor, redolent of body odor…What not to like?
I was there last summer hanging out with a friend. We had a similar take on PDX. I thought that San Francisco was one of the world capitals for the perpetually unbathed, persistently cranky human equivalents of Eeyore. Until I went to Portland.
Enjoy the festival and the lovely surroundings.
As I’ve mentioned previously, I LUV Portland!!! Really, truly.
I must’ve seen a different side of the city…
(Or, it just appeals to my depressive, artistic-wannabe nature.)
Heh, you should have come to Portland just a week or two earlier; you would have seen a whole different city. However, HPLFF is scheduled to coincide with the start of the fall rains, which is kind of a pain to me after getting so used to sunny, warm weather over the summer. Oh well. The Portland you described is home just as much as the sunny one.
Anthony: your comment made me laugh. And urinate lightly in my pants.
Shari: Portland is not without its finer qualities, and I’ve had better coffee nowhere! It’s grungy, but totally accessible and hosts lots of incredibly creative folks, which I love about it.
Waj: Welcome to my weirdness. and…thanks for not totally tooling on me after I got all snarky on Portland’s ass. Full disclosure: I found the cool rainy weather during the festival a delightful change of pace from Houston (which I now refer to as “Ole Stinky” or also “Ole Sweaty”).
Yaay, new readers!
Welcome to the nerdverse of which I am sovereign Queen, supreme ruler, and so forth.
Yes, it’s all true.
When I graduated from Grinnell, I considered moving to Portland but ended up in Minneapolis instead. I think I would have enjoyed the rain more than the booger freezin’ cold we get in these parts.
Can I send dpressed nerds your way?
If yes, how should I go about doing this?
Dear Nathan nathan bo bathan (Banana fanna fo bathan, fee fi fo bathan, Nathan!):
Yes.
I recommend the following methods:
-trebuchet
-siege cannon
-Victorian hot air balloon
-steam-powered locomotive
-giant slingshot
Actually, I’m not set up for seeing non-hospitalized individuals at the moment. But eventually I will be, and I will let you know when this happens, probably 6 months or so.
Hmmm…I’m not sure where she lives, or what technological kinda things could help bridge the “living elsewhere” gap. Maybe you’d know of someone near where she lives, or something like that?
How would you work something like an email consultation? Would you do something over the phone? Would you bill for something like that?
Athan Na:
Hey-email me. I’m not taking private patients at the moment, just fyi. Gimme another 6 months or so and I probably will be.
One of the easiest ways for folks to find shrinks is to get on the apa.org website, then navigate to the “Find a Psychologist” link in the left sidebar. From there it’s pretty easy to plug in info like zipcode, etc.
What if I knew someone…*ahem*…who wanted a consultation with you about the non-nutritional uses for squeeze cheese or the top 5 sitcoms from the 70s and 80s? How much do you charge for that? I looked on the APA site, and I couldn’t find the appropriate resource.
Nice article. Thanks. Eugene
I think I’ll be moving there soon- it sounds like the place I belong. I’m tired- like two year’s worth of exhausted tired- from running my own business and I don’t have time to bathe anyway, Slumping in the rain appeals to me right now.