Ask Dr. Ding

Wonder Woman is returning to television. Soon. Dr. Ding cannot be relied upon to dig up the details. Let’s just say I’m terribly, terribly excited. As a child, Wonder Woman and Isis were my Go Go-booted, blue-eyeshadowed, quasi-Amazonian warriorette role models from antiquity, which I believe accounts very nicely for my fascination with all things drag queeny. Yes.

Dr. Ding is going to get cable TV come hell or high water so she can watch some good ole-fashioned ass-whuppins commence at the hands of Wonder Woman, aka Diana Prince.

In case you’re feeling lukewarm about watching the glittered fashion boots a-flyin’ check this comprehensive list of WW’s superheroine powers out!

Superhuman strength, speed, stamina, durability, and hearing
Flight
Superior hand-to-hand and weapons combat skills
Animal empathy
Regeneration
Resistance to magic
Immunity to illusions and mind control
Ability to discern truth
Access to magical weaponry
Speeding bullet brassiere*
Bullet-repelling bracelets and Shiny Gold Truth Lasso
Truly great hair
Invisible plane! Sans bathroom, of course.
Ability to have costume stay in place during ass-whuppins
Looks great in primary colors

*Note to diehard DC Comics fans: I made up everything after the asterisk. Put your cans of Jolt cola and half-eaten bags of Cheetos down, nerdlings.