Ask Dr. Ding

Have you ever sat through a job interview, quietly perspiring [and adroitly sidestepping that 3-month gap in your resume where you roadtripped to Sedona, AZ and ingested 11 different kinds of herbs and spices in order to dream-travel to the Middle Realms to meet Carlos Casteneda] when out of nowhere they hit you with the “and where do you see yourself in five years?” conversation-stopper?

Within the context of a job interview it can be a challenge to know just how much of your dreams to share with a complete stranger who may or may not end up being your boss.

“I see myself as having a series of ever-increasingly intense peak experiences, resulting in a state of blissful non-being, much like the Zen concept of satori.”

“I see myself surrounded by luxury tile flooring and marble kitchen countertops, wearing dove-grey velour separates and a kicky cropped hairdo.”

“I see myself working my fingers to the bone for this company yet spending every weekend home with my five cats, watching Lifetime movies and crying into a bag of Oreos.”

Whether you’re looking for a job or not, take a moment and consider this question. What’s in your five-year plan? There’s nothing magic about five years. What’s in your one-year plan, your 3-year plan? Do you have any plans for your life? Anything beyond making it through the next week at work, or getting the next child off to school, or paying off the mortgage, the car, the credit card? While Dr. Ding isn’t a huge fan of planning stuff, far preferring to let life unfold in a spontaneous manner, I firmly believe in establishing a few meaningful goals.

For some reason, New Year’s has become the time of year when our minds turn to the topic of goal setting. Witness the spike in health club memberships, weight-loss group memberships, church attendance, psychotherapy participation, drug/alcohol treatment center admissions, makeovers, home renovations. We tend to only focus on the year at hand, and often, after a couple of well-intentioned months of effort, our newfound resolve wanes and we watch our dreams fizzle.

Why wait? Why put yourself through the auldlangsynish gristmill of teeth-flossing, swear-forswearing, crap TV-eschewing, and unrealistic gym attendance, only to have it mysteriously fall apart by March?

Dream big. How big? As big as your imagination can stretch. Dream right now.

Most of us are more uncomfortable or possibly unfamiliar with the tropes of success than those of failure, so we crunch our dreams into tiny, inoffensive, or vague packages. I want to own a 2-bedroom house. I want to maybe go back to school and study something. I want to travel out of the country. I’d like a decent relationship.

Why not create a five-year plan? Or a two-year plan? Something juicy. Something vivid and real. I want a Craftsman bungalow with a hot tub, a rumpus room, and a living room with large windows. I want to attend Miskatonic University and get certified to teach high school mathematics. I want to go on a two-week trip to outer Mongolia and travel by horse. I want to meet someone who is introverted, smart, emotionally available, and who has a similar set of values.

Here’s how to create your very own Dr. Ding Approved Life Plan in five easy steps.

1. Settle your ass down. Literally. Sit down somewhere quiet and unplug yourself. Get comfortable.

2. In a blank notebook, write at the top of a page “My Life Plan.”

3. Take a couple of deep breaths, start writing.

4. Keep writing until you hit something that gives you a gut feeling, a heart tug, or a sensation of pressure around the top of your head.

5. That’s your thing, baby.

Dr. Ding will regale you tomorrow with more.