Tastes Like Can-dayeh
Dr. Ding has had this song in her head all day. I remember trying awkwardly to shake my groove thang to it at a few Jr. High dances.
Lo and behold, there it was on YouTube. Candy. In all its fruited glory. I’m not at all certain if, back in the day, Cameo recognized they were as campy as an REI catalog, what with the the lead singer’s shiny red plastic banana hammock/codpiece and all, not to mention the band’s incessant shoulder-padded cavorting and bespandexed capering, but it makes for a hilarously watchable video nontheless.
Strawberry, raspberry, all those good flavors!
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Words To Live By
Dr. Ding finally decided she wanted to understand the full lyrics, and so here they are, courtesy of Lyrics Freak. Enjoy!
Town Called Malice
The Jam
Better stop dreaming of the quiet life -
Cos its the one well never know
And quit running for that runaway bus -
Cos those rosy days are few
And - stop apologizing for the things you’ve never done,
Cos time is short and life is cruel -
But its up to us to change
This town called malice.
Rows and rows of disused milk floats
Stand dying in the dairy yard
And a hundred lonely housewives clutch empty milk
Bottles to their hearts
Hanging out their old love letters on the line to dry
Its enough to make you stop believing when tears come
Fast and furious
In a town called malice.
Struggle after struggle - year after year
The atmospheres a fine blend of ice -
I’m almost stone cold dead
In a town called malice.
A whole streets belief in Sundays roast beef
Gets dashed against the co-op
To either cut down on beer or the kids new gear
Its a big decision in a town called malice.
The ghost of a steam train - echoes down my track
Its at the moment bound for nowhere -
Just going round and round
Playground kids and creaking swings -
Lost laughter in the breeze
I could go on for hours and I probably will -
But Id sooner put some joy back
In this town called malice.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
Feeling A Tad Gothic This Morning
This is Siouxsie Sioux of Siouxsie and the Banshees.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with Siouxsie, Dr. Ding recommends you begin your quest for 80s Gothic musical wisdom by viewing the viddies below.
Passenger
Cities In Dust
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
DingChild In The Promised Land
Fuck yeah, my peoples!
Dr. Ding has busted out of her hibernation-like exile from the nurturing teat of the Internet, from the thrilling roar and crash of the Information Superhighway, to return to your loving gaze.
At least I think it’s loving.
No matter.
Dr. Ding has been having strange dreams since her wilderness sojourn, and I dreamt that I was back in my hometown of Shampoo-Banana, visiting.
I’m touring my old High School, and suddenly the class of 1987 is informed that an entire semester of our senior year didn’t count, and we must needs complete it immediately, on campus, lest our college and post-grad degrees be stripped from us. Hilarity ensues.
People start wearing A Flock Of Seagulls hairdos again, and enormous shoulder pads are shockingly abundant. It’s not a pretty time.
Dr. Ding is then forced by the intensely Darwinic forces of the late-century Midwest teenage social climate to eat alone in the school cafeteria, and later returns home to sullenly watch Ultravox videos in the basement.
Oh Midge Ure, reap ME! Featured here for your listening pleasure, Reap The Wild Wind, and Lament.
Sigh.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
5 Travel Tips: My Ovaries Flew Coach: A Personal Odyssey*
Some folks can’t travel worth a hoot. Dr. Ding has observed them, standing smack-dab in the center of a busy airport thoroughfare, staring glassy-eyed and tight-pantsed at the monitors, looking miserable and laden down with excess luggage.
So to avoid this kind of travel buzzkill, read onward.
1. Travel light. The rule is: twice as much money and half the clothes. Trust. But be sure to pack 1 or 2 pair of dark, wicking/washable undies. I like Ex Officio. And make sure you wear comfortable slacks or sweats on days when you’re sitting lots. This prevents the dreaded crotchal region circulatory cutoff from ruining your courageous journey.
2. Forget all that crap about drinking lots of water ahead of time and packing your own snacks. Half the fun of travelling is buying Hoochie Hairstyle magazines and eating overpriced ham sandwiches, thereby saving you valuable pre-trip time to get a massage or find a cure for simple chronic halitosis.
3. Talk to the locals. Dr. Ding never would have learned to say “Ma’am you’ve irreparably hurt my feelings, now get out of my cab” in the Mayan language if she hadn’t attempted to communicate in her broken, profanity-laced Spanish while cabbing it along the Mexican Riviera. Or found out about the least-touristy beaches selling the best Cuban cigars and the cheapest cocktails.
4. Plug yourself into an iPod or MP3 player. Get the noise-blocking headphones. Calms anxiety, dampens engine noise, drowns out the person next to you droning on about needlepointing pies onto kittens or whatever at the PTA meeting funcheon.
5. Accept in your heart that magnets make the best souvenir gifts. They’re light and can be stowed easily in the odd suitcase pocket. Just don’t store them next to any electronic stuff, or you’ll give yourself the jimmy leg. Dr. Ding is partial to the kind of glittery, bejeweled magnets suitable for any drag queen dressing-room refrigerator.
Happy travels, Ding-a-Lings!
[Ed. note: That's Irish D.Q. Danny LaRue up above. I know it looks like me, but it's not.]
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
One! Step! Beyond!
Awright yawl. Now Dr. Ding is off The Clash, and is moving on to The Specials. I used to have the coolest Specials t-shirt ever. Which made me, of course, yes, you guessed it, cool.
If you can ignore the Pythonesque mugging and $7.19 budget, feast your ears on Madness’ Night Boat to Cairo, possibly one of my favorite saxomaphone solos of all time.
And to round out our tour thru the music of Dr. Ding’s early adolescence, I’ll leave you with the whacked-out Madness doing One Step Beyond.
| Etsy: QueenBodacious |
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