AskDrDing hasn’t featured a good, ole-fashioned Friday Diatribe in a long time. Sometimes I write best when I’m pissed off.
And you know what pisses me off today? The following miscellany.
1. The startling revelation Cher is most assuredly not considered an archetypal figure by hardcore Jungians. Trust me - I’ve looked into this. And I’ll put it to you thusly: since when is one’s Sacred Inner Drag Queen not a powerful female archetype representing the enternal and triune power of glamour, ostrich plumes and sequins? It’s this kind of intellectual stubborness, this outright rejection of the sublime Inner Diva that grinds my psychological ass to a fine point.
2. Unless you’re a bodybuilder or a sucked-out methampehtamine addict, you’re not supposed to have giant, mutant, ropey antecubital veins. Madonna needs to eat a goddamned peanut butter-n-bacon sandwich and quit working out for like 6 hours a day or whatever the hell e. helle makes her look like the frigging she-Gollum she’s turning into. Mean it. Madonna: call me, we’ll go eat nachos. Stat.
3. Why aren’t Witchblade, Firefly, Arrested Development, The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr, or The Tick on TV anymore? Or G vs. E for that matter? Why are all the shows I like cancelled, especially the ones that either had a total whoopass heroine or an archly funny/truly original plot? Dear meanspirited, shortsighted Hollywood shark-jumpers: thanks for helping to lower the collective IQ of America by continually pulling the plug on all that is witty, hilariously abstracted and wildly inventive.
4. I’m really freakin’ tired of all this constant Getting Things Done (GTD) mentality that seems to be all over the interwebs these days with those young kids and their whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ and the hey nonny-nonny-ho. Whatever happend to just being pleasantly inefficient every once in awhile? Why, back in my day sometimes we’d just walk over and talk to people. In person, and without being attached to some robotic pseudo-implant distracting us with beeps, buzzes and intermittent crotch-grabs*. Sometimes taking a few minutes to daydream or wander gets you paradoxically faster to where you want to go, like a hobbit, but with less metatarsal hair involved. Dr. Ding dislikes the GTD mentality, unless you’re doing it my way.
5. And I’m spent.
*It’s called hyperbole and you learned about it in junior high. Look it up.
As always, a pleasure to read! Yeah, Angelina Jolie’s arms are just like Madonna’s. BLECHIE!! I love women that look like women! So sick of women thinking they have to be men also, guess that’s my pet peeve. We’re made differently, deal with it. Doesn’t mean we have to settle for less obviously, but we ARE different! Ugh, I’ll shut up now. Luvs ya’ sugar! xoxo
Thanks a bunch, AbbyNormal!
I don’t get the whole ropey-arm thing either. What’s the appeal there? Looks like overexercising may be partly to blame.
Seriously: Madonna, if you’re reading this, put down the dumbbell and get in touch. I have a whole brick of Velveeta on standby.
😉
If you can hold down your dinner through Peter Brady on the trapeze, you should check out Rachel Hunter on Celebrity Circus.
She has gone the right way if you ask me. HOT!
- The Dinger with a Ding-a-Ling
ndbeasle aka The Dinger with a Ding-a-Ling
Waitaminit. Peter Brady. On a trapeze? That’s just awesome. It’s like some crazed Dada circus. I hope Rachel Hunter is accompanied by a tiny monkey in a fez who smokes, a la Mr. Teeny.
Wow.
Yeah, you tell ’em Ding!
You know, I don’t think I have an inner Diva and I’m wondering if you’ve identified the responsible party. Although I’m pretty sure I’m not allowing any hardcore Jungians dictate any other facets of my life . . . I *think*. Hmm.
I have to admit that my horrifically unorganized self has been somewhat enticed by the lure of David Allen and the GTD movement. I also love Lifehacker, which appears to be another fan of Teh GTD. However, although I’ve been enticed by the lure, I’ve managed to somehow remain completely ineffective in taking on *any* of the GTD tenets - which is probably lamer than being good at it. ::sigh:: So I’d like to hear more about your GTD method, perhaps it is one that could work for me. A little pleasant inefficiency I’m sure is a great thing, but a tidal wave of it . . . not so good. 😐 I’m good at daydreaming and wandering. I think I shall go and do some of that now. =)
Jamie:
Aw honey, you mos def have an inner Diva! Don’t let anyone tell ya different.
Your comment has inspired me to do a post on “Getting Things Done w.Dr Ding”. Later this week I’ll be writing about Scientology, and this will be a nice, down-to-earth, reality-oriented counterpoint!